Pathetic, AGAIN!

Well, I'm back to being the most pathetic student in my Pilates class. The young woman who stole my crown on Tuesday quit the class. She's not coming back. I had a feeling this might happen when she whispered to me, "I really hate to exercise!"

She probably compared herself to me and thought, "There is NO way I will ever be as physically fit as Lynn, so why even try?"

The woman who replaced her is a fit and trim GODDESS. There is not one dimple of cellulite on her tanned and perfectly scuplted thighs, and believe me, I looked really hard for it!

"I'm a runner," she says. Well, LA-DEE-DA, Miss 5-Miles-A-Day! Why do these people even come to classes like this? To make the rest of us feel bad?

When the instructor tells you to do jumping jacks for one minute, you're supposed to jump for about 50 seconds, right? And then fake like you're going to die if you have to do those last 10 seconds. (Dramatically grabbing your thigh like you have a painful cramp really helps you win over the sympathy of the instructor, just an FYI.) So what kind of fitness sicko jumps an extra 20 seconds beyond the requisite one minute? She did that the entire class . . . she'd push herself to do more than was asked.

The big, fat show-off!

Twenty-five sit-ups became 35. Six exhausting laps around the track became 10. Fifteen punishing leg lifts became 20. I mean, who does this??

Of course I'm going back to class today. But I still hate the new girl.

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